Wisdom Discovery and Study Center
PRINCIPLES OF CHILD UP-BRINGING PART 1
- You first approach to child upbringing must be living right as good parents by your character and in all your conduct; because you are the first visual aids that they see and trust. Prov 23:26, Prov 6:20-23, Prov 7:1-5.
- Learn to speak kind words to others in the presence of your children, not in pretence but let it be your life style and from the depth of your heart. Prov 23:22-25
- Show your love for one another in the presence of your children; let them know that their parents love one another by your way of life. Let them sometimes hear you call your spouse darling, my love or whatsoever you call each other. Tell your children “I love you from time to time.” I believe you understand what we mean here; that it does not mean open sex or pornography. This is even different from sex education that they are supposed to be taught from the age of puberty at home and not at school. Some parents think it is a taboo to teach their children about the parts of their body and how it functions as they begin to grow (sex education). If this is not done your daughter or son at puberty may see blood come out of her private part or your son experience erection or sperm come out of his private part and this may be at school, in a bus or anywhere; In this case what do you think will happen? Don't expose your children to danger because of their ignorance. You cannot make your home a warzone and expect your children to be peaceful children or very loving. 1 Cor. 13:3-8, Matt. 5:9, Prov 4:1-13, Prov 23:19-26.
- Make out time to communicate with your children; teach them about life not only academics. Share he principles of living with them. Deut. 6:6-9, Col 3:20-21
- Don't wait for mistakes before you teach your children certain things they ought to know in the house; let them know how to wash plates even if you have a washing machine, how to dress the table for food, dress the bed, clean the toilet, sweep the house, put their dresses in order, wash some of their dresses ( not the very quality ones till they are of age to do so and learn how to do so), how to bath well and clean the necessary parts to avoid bad odour, how to greet elderly people beginning from their elderly ones at home and many other things you think may help them in life. Early child training ensures the family’s and nation's security. Prov 22:6, Eph 6:1-4
- Children have the tendency of misbehaving or being foolish in words, attitude and thinking but constant dialogue, discussion and communication will change them. 1 Cor. 13:11, Prov 22:15
- Training does not begin with shouting, or beating, they are the last resorts with respect. Start early to show love to your children; let them know you love them because immediately they do wrong things; they go and hide themselves at the sound of your voice like Adam at the sound of God’s voice. Gen. 3:8-10
- Don't ever call your children names like imbecile, chicken, dog, goat, stupid, foolish and many other things that may enter your mouth in anger. They may behave like one, but don't call them that. It will destroy them; you cannot call them by that name and expect them to behave better. What you sow with your mouth is what you will reap in your children. Prov 17:27-28, Prov 18:20-22.
- Don't gossip anyone before your children because you are teaching them a way of life. You are creating an evil image of humans to them. Just teach them what’s right from wrong and if you don't want them to associate with certain people, tell them and the reason for that; but let it not be out of hatred, envy or jealousy. Prov 16:28, Prov 18:7-8.
- Teach your children that pride and arrogance either by words or attitude is from the devil. Teach them about HUMILITY, and not how you HUMILIATE people. These things will affect their tomorrow wrongly. Prov 16:5, 18-19, Prov 6:16-19.
- Teach them the wisdom of life; let them know some good proverbs in your vernacular from your village (place of origin) and also in English. Let the wisdom of the Bible be their watch word. Wisdom, wisdom, let this word wisdom remain in their mouth and mind until it forms their way of life. Prov 4:5-15, Prov 6:20-23, Prov 16:20-25
- Let them know about offerings, sacrifices and tithe from their childhood. Teach them the reasons for that. Don't just teach them, start early to give them the tithe card if your church uses it; let them give God part of whatsoever comes their way. For example; my first son started early to give all as his tithe to God; all he knew was that it was tithe. His tithe card was prepared from birth. Let them know early that everything belongs to God and we must worship God with what we have. Prov 11:24-26, Luke 6:38
- Teach them never to reward evil for good; let not evil be a part of their life. Violence does not pay anything, it only brings destruction. Nevertheless cowardice should not be part of them, they should know how to defend themselves at all times or else they may be destroyed by others. We are not saying they should be fighters raining fire and brimstones everywhere they go, but let them be courageous and stand for what is right and for their rights. Prov 17:13, Prov 14:12
- Let your children be modest in dressing avoiding seductive wears that expose their bodies unduly as they call it today; SEXY WEARS. “A True Christian cannot use such dirty words as SEXY WEARS”. A dress that fits you and gives you good shape, beauty and elegance is not sexy. The word sexy wears is from marine spirits and the world. You cannot dress like a demon or harlot, and expect your children to dress like angels; when we hear the word harlot, our mind quickly thinks of women only; that is a big lie; both men and women can dress seductively. Prov. 7:6-13, 1 John 2:15-21
- Finally caning or flogging is the last resort. When a child begins to prove stubborn and you have tried every means available only then can you use a cane or whip; not destructively but instructively. Let them still know you love them and the reason for their beating; don't keep saying I will beat you repeatedly without doing it; it will become a child's play. Don't also come to a place where the children don’t fear your cane any longer. When the child begins to say after all, you will flog me and it will be over, then you have missed the purpose. Before using cane, try several other severe punishments, like kneeling for a long time sometimes coupled with raising two hands up, etc. but not hunger because you will introduce the child to stealing. Prov 15:22-24, Prov 23:12-16.
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